Tuesday, January 11, 2011

The GAW post on jobs and kids.

A dear friend, an old sage at heart, called today to give me some wise words of advice after seeing my last blog post on the idea of taking photographs as a job. She apparently wants me to keep my day job. I hope she doesn't kill me for blogging about this, but alas, peeps, I must. It's time we all had the GAW talk. For those unfamiliar, that's Grown A.. Woman, which we all know we have to be at some point.

First and foremost, we here at According to Moi are not chickens without heads, and put a lot of thought into the choices we make. & we are pretty left-brained here as well, which means no life-changing decisions - especially when one has children and a mortgage - can be made at the drop of a hat. Research will go into this possible career addition, and in no way would I walk away from the fortunate situation of stable employment - akin to jumping off a cliff with my baby and house in hand. GAW don't do things like that, though sometimes we fantasize about it aloud and in the blogosphere.

& you know, I'm a GAW and can handle criticism. Not everyone's going to like me. & I don't care. :0) I'm happy to do my thing, my way, when I want to. If that means fewer offers and more time in between jobs - great. I can spend it with my little guy and my hubby. & if it all doesn't pan out, I'll still take photos. Because I like it and I want to. & that's the beauty of not being motivated by money or empire-building - I get to do what I want because I like it. & that's a Grown A.. Woman talking.


  1. If you don't have a dream, there is little to strive for other than all the GAW stuff that you have to think about every day.

    I never thought you were going to drop your day job, but there is nothing wrong with hoping and dreaming of something else and working toward that. Classes on the side and picking up jobs on the weekend doing something you love starts as a hobby and maybe, one day, moves to somthing else. Of course, that something else may just be 20 years away when the kids are educated and successfully on their own, but it is out there!

  2. Kathy, you're awesome. That's exactly my stance on it as well. It's nice to simply have an idea and pursue at your leisure! That's what makes it fun! Hope your family is doing well and that it's not too cold over there. :0)

  3. Shoot, I write for money on the side and I am certainly not quitting my day job. Do what you need to do, Marisa.

  4. Your friend probably meant well, but what you said is true -- you know what you're doing. And if you want to include some creative pursuits into your life, then why not? Kathy's response is perfect!

  5. What you have to remember is that people will tell you things because THEY are afraid. It will come from this well meaning place of trying to "help" you. Emphasis on the quotes, bunny ear fingers & all. There are so many people blocked by fear and not pursuing a true heart's desire and they, unfortunately, project that fear on you. Dear friend might read this and disagree, but I find that to usually be the case. I also didn't get the idea you're running off into the wedding services sunset. I thought it was going to be a side hustle. Lots of GAW have those! :-)

    Go girl. Go.

  6. I have to agree with gigiofca about people projecting their own fear and issues. I feel like I've experienced this so many times myself! I had been considering "breaking into" the fashion industry and I definitely got some not so supportive responses (from people I subsequently cut off). My thought was, hello, I'm a G.A.W. and if I'm made it this far in life without too many muck ups, then leave it to me to make my own decisions, wisely! Anyway, whenever I receive any kind of criticism, I just have to ask myself whether or not I think it came from a good/bad place and that usually makes me feel better once I've figured it out.

    Cheers to you and your potential new endeavor :)

  7. Hey Marisa,

    Sorry I'm late to this party, but I thought I'd give you my 2 cent since you were asking, and I can totally relate to your dilemma. That's because 10 years ago, I was a slave to the newspaper world when my crazy Armenian piano teacher declared, "Susan, you make fantastic piano teacher. You must train to be piano teacher." To which I replied, "What?!?!?!? No way. Like, I totally can't stand kids and have no patience."

    At that point I was a couple years out of college with a double major in music and journalism. My mom had always said I would make a fab teacher. But of course as a teenager I was like, "Step off, Mom. Ain't know way I'm teaching people." But after my piano teacher smacked some sense into me, I went back to college for some teaching courses. I had 1 - yes 1 student for 6 months. I ran some ads in the paper. And then, I had 3. And then I had 7. And then I had 12. All the while working full-time as a newspaper editor. Then, I had a wait list because there just weren't enough hours in my day. So, three years ago, I had enough people to quit my longtime newspaper job. It was the hardest decision I've ever made. I loved my newspaper job, but it had run its course. It was no longer fun. Now, I have 40 students, and they rock, and it is the best job EVA. Tomorrow is my first day back as a baby momma. I'm kind of wiggin, but I know in my heart it will all work out. If you are organized (which you seem like you are) and can motivate yourself to run your own business, you will be fantastic.

    I definitely agree with previous posters about trying to work for some local photogs. Again, since being a newspaper gal, my husband and I know tons of photographers. Photojournalists tend to do wedding/portrait work on the side. I guess the downside is that your hours are mostly on weekends, but you seem cool with that. So, go for it!!!!

    OK, I have to go feed my screaming baby. xoxox S.

  8. Ladies, thank you so much for joining in the frank discussion on what forays into the unknown - grown up style.

    Gigi, what you say is true and sometimes I'm so nice that it may seem like I haven't thought things out, when in reality it's us quiet types you gotta watch out for. We plan everything out in our heads. It was always going to be a side hustle, and I wanted to make sure it was clear before my bloggie gals thought I had really lost my mind. Thank you for the words of reason - It was fortifying. :0)

    Susan, your story was resonating. It is exactly where I am. I like your idea of going back for some classes on the subject. Thanks so much for that. Hope Jersey Baby is doing well and growing fast!

  9. Oh I hear you sister... I often dream of being a photographer when I grow up.. or no longer have children we need to support..
    There is such a peace when I am behind the camera...
    Go for it chic.. just do it in your own time. :-)
    I am sure your friend was just trying to be "helpful" :-)